What's in a name?

Since most of us here were able to consciously choose the names we choose to use on the internet, as opposed to the names that our parents bestowed upon us without our consent, there is usually a story behind the names. Some may choose to tell that story, and others may not.  Since my site here is to tell my story, I will choose to relate that information.

For a great number of years, my inner feminine being existed solely through my desire to wear women's clothing.  Up until a few years ago, when the urge to seek community coupled with my knowledge of the internet and all that it can provide, Arianwen did not have a name.  The main reason for the lack of a name was the lack of necessity -- since Arianwen was only internal to M (and ensconced firmly and deeply in the closet), there was no need.  In fact, the necessity for a name never really materialized until a brief time after I outed myself to W, who would eventually become my spouse.

W, started the creative juices flowing with commentary along the lines of, "when you are dressed, there is a subtle shift in your personality."  As I had never been dressed in women's clothing, except in places and situations where discovery was as impossible as possible, I had never noticed that I might be "acting" differently.  After dwelling on this for a while afterwards, as well as with further input from W, I finally came to the conclusion that this "other woman" was distinct enough to warrant a name.

At about the same time that this was going on in my head, another consciousness was being developed -- W was only a month or two from giving birth to a child of our union and love, and we both decided to wait until the child was born to figure out the gender of the baby.  While I was nearly 100% confident that the baby's gender would be male (dare I call it women's intuition?), W was not wanting to leave the naming of the child to fate so about one week before the baby was due to be delivered, via C-section, we eventually decided to look at names in case the baby's gender was discovered to be female.  The name for the child, if the gender was male, was already completely covered, as I was able to successfully lobby for reusing my father's name.

Both M's time in Wales (M got to spend over a year living there while going to college) and his Welsh ancestry were very strong determinants in the choosing of names, and M was able to successfully lobby for names which would celebrate that heritage (this is also why the Welsh flag is contained within the avatar/image used for Arianwen's profile picture).  Since W and I found ourselves in a bookstore without her daughter, we came across a book of names and started to look through it.  I couldn't settle on any one name that sounded "right," (since I already "knew" that the child's gender would be male), so it was narrowed down to two names which would be reviewed after the baby was born -- Arianrhod and Bronwen.

After the birth of the baby, which of course was a male and was named, like myself, after my late father, those two names stuck in my brain for a while longer.  Although it was never a fully conscious decision, I ended up creating the name, Arianwen Morgana.  The first name is actually a cross between Arianrhod (silver wheel) and Bronwen (fair beauty), and the last name is a play on a common Welsh surname (Morgan).

The other names used throughout my entries are "M," for Me in male mode, and "W," for the Wife of M.